• Clare


There are various ways that someone can please their partner in the bedroom, way beyond picking dirty socks up off the floor and cutting out the snoring.

We’re talking about ways you can drive your partner wild and contribute to some mind-blowing sex. After all, good sex is a team effort and requires both parties to put in the effort. As one of half of a couple, there are a few things you can focus on to do your part in making it memorable every time you have sex, and here are just a few.

Foreplay Often talked about… and with good reason! Foreplay is a hugely important part of sex. It helps set the mood and get things warmed up nicely. This is the perfect time to explore each other’s body, teasing and building up to the main event. Over eagerness when it comes to foreplay, speeding through it to get to penetration might be tempting, but it’s well worth taking the time here. The chances of her achieving an orgasm from sex are much higher if you’ve taken the time to stimulate her senses beforehand.

Compliment Her Sex is about much more than just the physical act. The words you say and the way you look at her can be equally powerful in the bedroom. It can be as simple as saying “you look beautiful tonight” right through to complimenting what she’s doing and telling her how much you love it. Every little positive affirmation that you give her will help make her feel more confident and relaxed in bed. This relaxation will make it much easier for her to enjoy the moment.

Listen to Her This means more than just waiting for direct instructions and doing it. Listen to her breathing, every little moan, read her body language.

All these things will help you identify what feels good for her and what isn’t quite working. Similarly, if you’re trying something new, it’s important to pay attention to how she feels about it. For example, if you’re trying anal for the first time and she shouts “ouch!”, don’t keep on trying. Take it slow and ask her how it feels and what she’d like.

Don’t Compare to Previous Partners Don’t do this in your head and please, dear lord, don’t ever do it out loud. Sex is about sharing the moment with that one person and finding a connection between each other. Don’t waste time comparing it to previous partners. Maybe your ex used to do something that you really loved, if that’s the case there’s nothing wrong with sharing but think about how you phrase it. Don’t overshare, just say you’d like to try it.

Be Open-Minded We’re all different and that means we have different wants and needs. Be open to what she wants and doesn’t want. You never know what you might like, so being open-minded gives you the best chance of discovering something new that does it for you both. Remember, it’s not always about what you want in the bedroom and fulfilling one of her fantasies is a great way of pleasing her.

Keep the Afterglow People often joke about those moments after sex where one partner wants to cuddle up and the other just wants to go and flick the kettle on. Take some time to enjoy those intimate moments after sex with your partner, this is when you should be feeling at your closest and enjoying that post-sex buzz. For your partner, it’s important for her to feel like you want her for more than just the orgasm. It’s important to connect on an emotional level here, too.

Pleasing a woman in the bedroom is about much more than just an orgasm, it’s about helping her feel confident, comfortable and emotionally fulfilled too. Sure, the pleasure aspect of sex is still (very) important and we all want to feel good, but these tips should help that feeling last a lot longer.

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